Are your relationships out of balance?
In all relationships including primary and friendships, we need to check to see if it is a give-and-take situation. In some relationships you will find that you are giving maybe a lot more than you are receiving. In some situations this is okay like when you are helping someone out that is sick or disabled or if one of your friends or your partner has an issue that needs to be given extra time in that moment. Although if you notice that a relationship is always one-sided it may be time to fade out of that relationship or address the issue in the relationship.
Obviously, it’s best if you are in relationships where sharing and giving and receiving support is equal. Again if in certain situations there is an exception where one person needs more this is okay. You may have a friend who always seems to need attention and support from you because her life seems to always have something dramatic going on. If this is the case it may feel like there’s no room in the relationship for you and you may need to do a bit of adjusting in that area.
There are a few things you can do in this situation, one is letting go of the friendship altogether, or you can have a conversation with your friend about needing her to handle her own emotional situations herself first and then bouncing things off of you, instead of bringing it to you first.
I feel like when we put ourselves in a position to handle other people’s emotional stuff we robbed them of the chance of figuring it out themselves and growing up. I did this with a friend where I told her that it felt like a lot to me to be handling my emotions and hers. What I preferred was for her to try working things out or to get a therapist. Then she could come to me after she had figured things out and let me know how things went. This may seem unsupportive to some people but actually it is very healthy to not enable people so that they can start taking care of their own emotional needs themselves.
Are you the one giving too much or taking too much?
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
If you are interested in my Individual Retreat, Adult Mother Daughter Retreat or a Couples Retreat or Mentoring so you can look at the things that aren’t working in your life and shift them, Click HERE to schedule your free consult. Or call me at 928-300-0447.
Also check out what clients are saying about me in their Testimonials!
“As soon as we began I knew this was the direction I was wanting to go. I felt Debra was spot on with where the feelings are coming from and truly gifted me with the tools to care for those feelings. She did such a great job at turning an ugly/hurt filled situation into a meaningful, purposeful, beautiful experience. I love the way I see and feel about myself, my mom and our relationship… Not only with each other, but with every body else in life. I can’t thank you enough, Debra. You are such a gift! I feel blessed to share in this experience.
-With love, Jennifer (Daughter)
Debra, thank you so much for helping me to connect with my daughter and myself. I’m very glad that I chose you in this reconnecting process!”
-Sincerely, Julia (Mom)
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