Why are primary relationship so good for our learning?
Have you ever wondered why you are with a partner when they trigger you so much? Have you sometimes thought that if you could just find another man that was different, then you would be happier?
I hear this all the time when mentoring both men and women. Let’s explore why you are with your partner and why he/she is actually perfect for you and your learning. We always draw exactly what we need into our lives for us to shift our old beliefs and heal. It is not a coincidence that our partner triggers us.
Triggers are good.
They help you shift the way your Inner child, Ego, and Lower self believes. If you have an old belief that you aren’t important, you may be with a partner that doesn’t listen to you, dismisses what you say, or acts like he doesn’t want to spend time with you. These behaviors will send your little girl into orbit. Most people will get upset with their partner for acting this way, blame them for their actions, then plan their escape. They might say to their friends, “I’m so tired of my husband. He doesn’t care about me. I’m not sure how much longer I can handle this.”
If you realized that triggers are good and that they will help you expand and grow, you would say, “Great, this is just an opportunity for me to heal my wounds, grow, and get closer to myself, my higher power, and my partner.”
Every time you blame someone or something for your trigger, you expand the old belief, like I’m not important, instead of shift it. You need to explore your feelings around the trigger and realize that your partner’s actions have nothing to do with you being important or not. YOU already had that belief inside of you! Your importance comes from you, not your partner.
Being in partnership is the best tool we have to heal and shift our old belief systems. Think about how often your husband or wife has triggered you. Every trigger is an opportunity to practice and shift an old belief. Understand that these feelings come from inside of you, not outside. The more you practice and understand that these feelings come from inside of you not outside, the more you expand the new belief, which is “I am important no matter what others do or say, my importance doesn’t come from them.”
It is easy to not get triggered when we are alone. It’s not so easy when we are in a primary relationship. Triggers are good. It’s how we learn about ourselves and grow.
