Do you have guilt?
Where does it come from?
What actions do you take when you feel it?
How do you process it?
We have all had guilt at one time or another, whether it’s guilt about our parenting skills, our work performance, our exercise regime, eating habits or just a constant feeling of not being good enough.
It’s what we do after we feel the guilt that really matters. We know we are going to feel it but what do we do with it when it occurs?
The first thing we need to do is track where it comes from. Why are we feeling guilty? If the why is, I’m eating poorly and feeling guilty, okay. Now let’s track it further. Why are you eating poorly? Is it because of stress, for comfort, to medicate feelings, or maybe it’s a lack of knowledge of good eating habits? After we have gathered data around what we are doing that caused the guilt and why, we start to have an understanding about ourselves and bring consciousness to the issue.
After we understand this, we now need to determine if the guilt is about our behavior or is it someone else’s projection. A perfect example of it being someone else’s projection would be someone wanting you to do something and guilting you into it. They would try to manipulate you by saying you were doing something wrong if you didn’t behave the way they wanted you to. Be certain before you change your behavior that it’s because this is behavior you want to change and not because someone is manipulating you.
The exploration of guilt is very important because it allows you to know what to do with the guilt. You will need to look at your part and let the guilt know that you don’t need it to beat you up in order to make a shift. This is where a personal retreat can help!
The next thing to look at is the action your little girl might try to get you to take to make the guilty feelings go away. Sometimes when we are feeling guilty, we will appease others to make the feelings go away. This is where guilt is tricky. In the example of eating better, you would want to obviously change your diet and eat healthier. But in a situation where maybe an overweight family member is telling you it’s your fault she eats poorly, this would be a guilting projection.
Does she gain weight when you eat? Exactly!
Processing the guilt by talking to it as well as the little girl is a good way to get to the bottom of the feelings. Ask your little girl about what she is saying about the situation, and then ask the guilt why it is feeling this way about the situation. Guilty!
This process takes an extreme amount of practice and patience, and it’s critical to utilize someone who can see things from the outside. This is why a personal retreat is so powerful. It helps you see yourself from the outside and untangle from your emotions.
If you would like to step outside of your emotional entanglement and see more clearly, please call me and let’s chat about ways you can become clearer.
