I saw this post on Facebook today and thought it was amazing and very enlightening. It is regarding being in abusive relationships and the part we play. I think it is hard to always look at your part and the learning, especially with abuse. Please read the following and check in with how you feel afterwards.
Facebook Post:
“I know so many women, myself included, who get involved with men who do not treat them with love, care and respect. The problem is not the man!! Don’t ever think it is. The man is just being who he is. He is perfect as he is. The problem is … YOU. The problem is: Why are you letting someone into your sacred space – your home, your womb – who does not show respect for you?
This is YOU disrespecting yourself. Instead of focusing energy on fixing/changing your man or being there for him while he evolves (chances are low unless he is the catalyst for his own growth), put your energy on yourself. It’s time to look within at your little girl and find out what happened at a young age to set up this pattern of “accepting less” than what you know to be honorable, good and true for you.
It’s time to be there for yourself 100%. Show up for yourself every moment of every day. Tune into what makes you happy, and keep doing it. If being with your man in his moments of acceptable behavior gives you an energetic boost, fills you with joy, makes you feel whole and happy — it is most likely some sort of polarizing energy that is happening, and your inner emotional addict getting their fix. It is not true love. To find true love, one must first turn inward and love thyself. Then you will find different people gravitating into your life, people who will treat you as you are treating yourself. It all starts with YOU. Until you get that, you will keep pulling in men that treat you less than you desire to be treated. Stop the cycle – find happiness and wholeness within, starting today.”
One of the comments really keyed in to me on the part of the man being perfect the way he is. The person that commented didn’t see things this way at all. She asked how an abuser could be perfect and how the situation could be the fault of the abused who would therefore not be deserving of sympathy or help.
My response was that I don’t think this is about condoning abusive behavior or putting fault anywhere, rather it’s about looking at your part in allowing the abuse to continue. If you are in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, you don’t want to use your energy to change that person’s behavior. It would be more helpful to spend that energy looking deeper into why you’re allowing someone to treat you dishonorably. If the abused is not willing to look at this and help herself, then no one’s sympathy or help will do any good.
The part about him being perfect is about just being human and as such, being perfect the way we are. We are all learning on the planet and wherever we are on the path is exactly where we need to be for our learning. If we are an abuser or an abused, there is huge learning for both sides and it’s where we need to be to learn.
With the Sedona Soul Retrieval Method you will learn how to take total ownership for everything in your life. It is easy to take ownership for the good things in our life. It’s the challenging person and situations that make us want to blame and project and not go inside.
