Asking for help, isn’t a sign of weakness! Asking for Help

How hard is it for you to ask for help?  Most of us prided herself on being self-sufficient, although some of us take it to a whole another level. It’s okay to be responsible for taking care of yourself and pulling your own weight in the world but it’s also important to be able to ask for help when needed.

I remember many years ago how hard it was for me to ask for help. Asking for help or accepting help when I needed it made me feel weak and inadequate. Because of losing my mother when I was newly divorced at 26 years old, with 2 young kids, I learned to do things myself at all costs. The problem with this process is that it took a toll of my health and well-being.

Always being strong enough to do everything and never being able to ask for help or be nurtured was not only exhausting it made the people around me feel like I didn’t need them.  It also made them not want to ask me for help because they felt weak and dependent.

Another area it affected was my healing when I was truly in a place to need care and would accept it. It would take a lot longer to recover because I would push myself before I was ready.

When we allow our self to be helped we can also sink into a place of deep gratitude.  How lucky are we to have people in our lives who are willing and want to show up for us.

Another part of this equation is accepting the situation as it is. When we accept that we need help, then we can surrender to being taken care of and relax and heal.  We are partly resisting what is happening to us and then resisting help. The resisting in and of its self can prolong our healing.

It takes strength and insight to own our humanness and to accept that we have limits, just like everyone else. Understanding the human experience is a huge growth opportunity that provides humility and vulnerability. Both humility and vulnerability can soften the heart.

If you are looking for support around learning to be vulnerable and to know yourself better, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.

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