How important is communication between mothers and daughters?
The biggest issue I see between mothers and daughters is the breakdown in communication. It seems that people in general don’t know how to communicate or they are not communicating at all. Both of these issues present huge problems in having a healthy relationship.
The main process in my mother daughter retreats is learning how to communicate through your higher self not your ego. Our egos tend to defend and blame others and they always want to be right. So you can see if you are communicating through this part of yourself it would not be very effective.
So the first thing we do in the mother-daughter retreat is learn how you are acting out through the wounded part of yourself, which shows up as your ego. Just this information alone allows for subtle shifts. Once you recognize these parts in yourself it is easier to not react through a trigger and instead respond and interact in a kinder way.
When our egos are blaming and defending, they usually hit below the belt. If both mother and daughter are communicating in hurtful ways it will just build up more resentment and separation. This is why I have mothers and daughters coming to me that are totally shut down to each other and in need of help.
I don’t think most of us realize how important healthy communication is, nor do I think the majority of the adults even know how to communicate. Communication isn’t something that we are taught when we are younger. We are normally taught how to communicate by watching our family members interact. I am sure you chuckled after reading that, because most families communicate in very dysfunctional ways.
In my household nobody talked about anything, everything was ignored. So when I became an adult it was really hard for me to talk to someone about something that was bothering me. I had to really practice this often so that it wasn’t so uncomfortable for me. Others lived in an environment where everyone was yelling to be heard, so they may be overbearing with the way they interact. Either way of conversing isn’t healthy.
In all of my retreats you will learn how to handle your triggers so that you can communicate with others in a healthier way. If you are acting out of your triggers and not able to communicate in a healthy way it is virtually impossible to have a relationship from the heart.
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.