In my last individual retreat, my client was having difficulties with trying to control her partner. She was always trying to get him to say or do something that would make her or the situation better. Even though she understood where the controlling pattern came from in her childhood, she always found herself acting in a controlling way. This behavior made her feel guilty and triggered her partner.
We all have beliefs that we created when we were young because of certain things that happened to us.
My client had grown up in a family where her father was an alcoholic and she never felt safe. Her need to control situations was very strong so that she could create safety in her life. When she started bringing awareness into this wounded part of herself and looking at the old belief that said, “I have to control my environment to be safe,” she was able to stop herself from reacting when she was triggered.
The key to not reacting is to know your wounding, know what old belief is attached to it, and know it is a lie. Then, the most important part is to not buy into it, to not take the action that buys into the old belief being true.
We have no control over our environment at all, no matter how much we want or need to; we can’t manipulate a situation or person.
That little girl, or ego, really believes she can and that controlling will bring safety. That’s the lie!
During the individual retreat, you will get to know yourself really well and know how your ego/little girl operates. You will also learn how to not react during a trigger, and how to take the right action to shift the old belief by creating a new belief through your higher self.
The reason I prefer individual retreats as opposed to group retreats is because the work we do is deep, and people are less inclined to go really deep in front of a crowd. The work in my individual retreats is sustainable. I have participated in many group workshops and retreats and I always feel amazing right after for about a week. Then, life would happen and I would go right back into my old patterns, and there I’d be again.
Everyone that has been through my Intensive individual retreats has made shifts where they can’t fall back into old patterns. Their way of being in the world is different. It’s not just something they learned in a retreat; it’s a shift in who they are. They find they are showing up in the world differently, organically. Even though they have to practice being present and taking the right actions, they naturally do it differently.
