Are you dating consciously?
I have been single quite a bit throughout my life and while my other friends were dating miserably, I was enjoying myself. For me it was an opportunity to get to know someone different and to hone in my skills of being conscious of human behavior. Not only conscious of the behavior of someone else but mostly my own behaviors.
I get a chance to keep and eye on my inner child, that little girl that believes she has to be in relationship and be taken care of to be happy. So I get to watch her either get excited by good things that he does or bummed out around the crummy behavior he has. I also get the opportunity to watch how the lower part in me might defend his poor behavior.
If I am dating consciously and watching myself like a hawk, I will learn a lot about my dysfunctional behaviors and how they might play out if I let them. So it’s a great opportunity for me to have my eyes wide open to how that lower part in me works.
Another thing about dating consciously is that when the typical things like unreturned texts or calls happen, you have the opportunity again to just stay neutral and not get entangled emotionally. Getting tangled emotionally may look like you thinking there is something wrong with you or that possibly you did something wrong or you’re not good enough, when actually when they don’t text or call back it has nothing to do with you. Think about all the practice you’re going to get around not taking things personally, not clinging to good feelings and resisting bad feelings.
My suggestion is to get out and date, don’t put on a show and be somebody you’re not and if there’s a connection great and if there is not that’s great too. Dating helps you to see into your soul’s deepest desires and biggest vulnerabilities.
As long as we are okay with being alone we will never sacrifice our desires just to be in relationship and not be alone. So next time you go on a date, really watch yourself and ask important questions, to see if you are a soulful fit with this person.
If you would like to get to know yourself better, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
