At one point in my life I started noticing that important relationships were starting to crumble and eventually would come to an end. I thought that I would be completely friendless and totally all alone. What happened was, as I continued to grow and evolve, the people in my life either shifted or went away. The main reason for this was because I was being more authentic and they either chose to be as well or projected their triggers onto me. If they continued to project their triggers, blame me and not own their part, I would either decide not to spend as much time with them, if any at all, or they would organically leave the relationship because they couldn’t stop blaming me.
Either way, the relationship shifts, and that’s a good thing. Even though at the time, it was brutal for me. What made it brutal was what my little girl/thoughts were saying about the situation. This is how it sounded inside my head:
“You did something wrong; you’re not good enough; you’re going to be alone forever; etc.”
If I choose to buy into my little girl’s thoughts/old beliefs, I will stay in relationships that don’t serve me, or quite frankly, the other person either. When you let go of relationships like this, first you start to shift all those old beliefs; second, you open up a space for more conscious relationships to come in.
The transition is tough because the aloneness can feel so sad, empty and full of hurt. When you are feeling these feelings, you just have to be careful what your little girl/thoughts start telling you what to do, like, “Make them understand; just stay in the relationship and see things their way; don’t speak your truth.” OUCH! This is where you have to not take the action of the little girl, know that everything is going to be okay, and just be with the feelings coming up. This is where an individual retreat can help show you how.
The only way to shift old beliefs is to be able to be with the feelings, not to take the action of the little girl and let it go and let it be.
This is easier said than done, but it is completely doable.
