The reason we go into partnership is to go deeper into our self. Have you noticed how just being with your significant other brings up all your wounds? It is really important to choose your partner consciously because an unconscious relationship could possibly do more harm than good.
Something that I have learned through my relationships is that I don’t want to be in partnership with someone not doing their psypho-spiritual work and projecting their unhealed wounding on me. If someone doesn’t understand that triggers come from their unhealed wounded self, they will blame their partner for making them feel badly.
If we rush into relationships out of an unhealed part in us, we may find ourselves in a relationship that is very stagnant in one area and repetitive in another. It will be stagnant because you will not be able to create the intimacy you may desire and repetitive because you will be arguing about the same drama constantly.
If both parties are actively engaged in looking at themselves honestly and understand that they are in relationship for mutual healing, there will be no arguing and no drama, just healing and deep intimacy.
Whenever we meet anyone it is an opportunity for mutual healing. This doesn’t necessarily mean that it has long term potential. Figure out what is the most important thing in a relationship for you. Is it common views, compatibility, attraction, money, or spirituality? If you are in a relationship with someone who gets his juice from making a lot of money and he doesn’t have a spiritual practice, will that be okay for you?
For me, it has become extremely important to be in partnership with someone learning and growing from their physical life experiences. These experiences are what help us heal and evolve. It wouldn’t work for me to have a partner that had no interest in their healing or growth.
If it isn’t your desire to be in a spiritual relationship like this, that is okay. Just know what you are looking for in a partner and don’t compromise thinking you will be able to change him into someone that will want to go deeper. Being clear about what we want and not letting our own wounds settle into something that isn’t going to work, will eventually fall apart anyway.
