Something I hear from clients a lot is that they want a deeper relationship with their partner or they aren’t willing to go into a relationship unless it offers some depth.
I personally have been in a few relationships that were fun and I learned a lot about myself, but they weren’t holy. I love what Marianne Williamson says about the Holy relationship.
Relationships are hospitals for the sole.
Stuff comes up when we are unhealed.
Can we be better versions of ourselves?
Can we have compassion?
Relationships are assignments for maximum growth.
A holy and wholey relationship you take responsibility for yourself.
In a wholey relationship you all ready know you are
complete in who you are.
Sometimes they have the most to teach us.
I love this because what it is saying is that if I am whole as a person, owning my own woundedness and triggers, and know that I am okay without a partner, then and only then can I enter into a holy relationship.
The purpose of relationship is to evolve, to grow to become the best version of yourself. Primary relationships bring up all of our unhealed wounds. If we aren’t willing to look at our self and do the work necessary, it will be impossible to take it to the next level in a relationship. The intensity of being in partnership may be way too much if you haven’t done the basic work on your self. If you have been working a bit on yourself it will be easier to do the work while in a partnership.
I have worked with many couple in my Couples Retreat where one partner has done a fair amount of work and the other hasn’t and the retreat helps them shift into doing more work on themselves and therefore being able to do deeper work together.
Just being in relationship brings up all of our deep trauma because that’s what Spirit wants for us. Spirit wants us to become wholey and heal, so if you are in a relationship that pushes your buttons, that’s where you need to be. Everything in our life is for the purpose of healing.
If you are in a relationship where you have conflict or you’re just not connecting, my couples retreat may be a great opportunity for you both to do your individual work and your deeper work as a couple.