If you were never taught that you had rights as a child, there is a good possibility that saying “No” isn’t in your vocabulary. Because I was abused as a child, lived with a binging alcoholic and a mother that never said no, I couldn’t say it as an adult, especially with men.
The words simply wouldn’t or couldn’t come out of my mouth. If a man was an authority figure or I dated a boyfriend with a strong personality, I wouldn’t speak my truth or ever set a boundary. If I did happen to get the “No” word out, I would immediately think I did something wrong and feel insurmountable guilt.
It has taken many years of processing through my childhood wounding to even realize that I wasn’t speaking my truth, and to shift my old beliefs to get to a point where I can say “No, thank you,” and not have a knot in my stomach or beat myself up.
If you can’t say no, you can’t set healthy boundaries.
If you can’t set boundaries, you will be resentful and be a victim. The first step is realizing it is your lower self that stops you from setting boundaries and saying no. If you were in your higher self, it would know that you have rights and that setting boundaries is for everyone’s higher good.
In my personal retreats, this is one of the basic things you will learn. We will look at your past wounding and explore your old beliefs from those wounds and create new beliefs and behaviors to start living a more empowered life. It’s impossible to be empowered if you are a victim, not setting boundaries, and blaming others for not doing what they should do.
Call me and let’s explore how a personal retreat will help you become more empowered.
Testimonial From a 2-Day Retreat
“I walked into this retreat feeling overwhelmingly sad, broken and alone. I am walking out empowered awake and at peace. To say that this retreat was life changing would be a huge understatement. This work is incredible and creates huge shifts. I’ve done self-improvement work for over a decade, but nothing ever really changed for me.
This work with Debra made it clear why nothing had ever worked before. She is an incredibly warm, sincere and loving person who creates a beautifully safe place to work in. I don’t want to leave! All I can say is you deserve this retreat. Love yourself enough to give yourself this gift. I will be forever grateful that I get it.”
-Melissa Sanford
