What do you do when you are suffering from either emotional or physical pain? Most people run like hell toward their medicators to distract themselves so they don’t have to deal with the feelings. First, let’s look at all the many medicators out there that we use to try to avoid our emotional and physical pain.
Things I might consume from the outside to change how I feel on the inside:
sugar, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, food, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, chocolate, gum, candy, soda…
Example of things I might do on the outside to change how I feel on the inside:
shop, gamble, work, sex, relationships, binge, purge, restrict, affairs, care take, rescue, enable, fix, worry, spend, religion, music, T.V., movies, computer, internet, exercise, blame, focus on others, criticize, judge, gossip, rage, depression, lecture, manipulate, control, keep secrets, thinking, keep busy, focus on negative, perfectionism, sleep, smoke, take things personally, bite nails, chew on objects, self harm, harm others, isolate, withdraw, shut down, argue, fantasize, sarcasm
Do you relate to any of these? I bet you didn’t even realize that you, too, run from your pain toward these medicators. When we are lonely, frustrated, angry, sad, hopeless, anxious, etc., we don’t like how it feels, so we do whatever we can to avoid feeling this way.
Your boyfriend breaks up with you and you are devastated; feelings of utter sadness, loneliness, and abandonment flood through you. What is your next move? People will often jump right into another relationship so they don’t have to feel like they aren’t good enough and the sadness that goes along with that. Unfortunately, stuffing those feelings and medicating just makes them bigger and they re-emerge again another time in a different situation.
Why is it so hard for us to be with our pain? What if we just sit with it until it dissipates? Even if we have do this many times a day, just be with the pain and feel it. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist author, talks about being with the pain and suffering and really experiencing it. What does it feel like in your body, what is its shape, color, etc. ? Analyze it! Look at what old belief is up that is causing this pain. If it’s physical pain, be with it, lean into it, and see what happens.
Running from our pain expands our old belief system and only perpetuates the pain. It may go away in that instance but it will return again with a vengeance! Look at the ways you run from those uncomfortable feelings and see what medicators you use. Try sitting with the feelings and explore them; embrace them and make friends with them.
