Is it necessary to have shame or guilt?
I read this short piece of an article about shame and found it interesting and though I would give you my slant on it. It’s from DailyOm, which I love and I think it’s a great topic. Here it is:
Shame is a loaded word for Westerners. Like most things, it can be seen in a positive or negative light. Negative shame is accompanied by guilt and self-denigration. It is pointless and doesn’t help us even slightly. Positive shame, on the other hand, is recognizing when we’ve harmed ourselves or anyone else and feeling sorry for having done so. It allows us to grow wiser from our mistakes. Eventually it dawns on us that we can regret causing harm without becoming weighed down by negative shame. Just seeing the hurt and heartbreak clearly motivates us to move on. By acknowledging what we did, cleanly and compassionately, we go forward.
The word shame to me has a negative connotation and as long as it’s shame it isn’t positive. The definition is: A feeling of guilt, regret, or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong. : ability to feel guilt, regret, or embarrassment. : dishonor or disgrace.
We can admit our mistakes and clean up our mess without feeling shameful or guilty. The feelings of shame and guilt come from our ego beating us up. What if when I make a mistake, I simple don’t judge it as being bad, I just look at how I want to shift my belief system, clean up my mess with the situation and feel good about the learning. I don’t believe it has to have shame or guilt. Shame and guilt comes from a possible old belief of always doing something wrong, something is wrong with me, or I’m not good enough.
We are humans suffering with the human condition. We are going to make mistakes! It’s what we do with the mistakes after they are made that is important. If we make mistakes, clean up our mess and keep making them, we might want to take a look at that. And if we make a mistake and beat ourselves up, that would be another area to look at.
I think if we are conscious about our actions before, during and after, we will be better equipped to live our lives from a more awakened state. Let go of your shame and guilt around being human, you are going to make mistakes. Just clean up your mess and be conscious not to continue making the same mistake.