The reason to enter into a partnership is to create something greater than we can create alone. Not because we have a hole inside of us that needs to be filled but more because we want to heal the hole inside of us.
Going into a relationship requires both parties to be conscious and awake regarding their own patterns. If we have one person that’s willing and the other is not it will be pretty hard to create a coherent holy relationship. When I say holy relationship I mean where both parties know that the relationship is bringing up old stuff to be healed and they do their work around it and don’t project. Therefore creating a very vulnerable and intimate relationship together.
So it’s very important to choose a partner that is willing to look at his or her own patterns and work toward healing them. What I often see while working with couples is that one person is willing to own their own wounding and the other person isn’t and therefore a lot of issues are swept under the rug and they cannot reach a resolve. So if you are single and you do this type of spiritual work, it is important for you to move slowly and consciously in regards to looking for a life partner.
People that rush into partnership are usually trying to fill a need rather than create a holy union that serves their personal growth. Most of the time relationships are just a place to park your woundedness and not heal it. This behavior isn’t okay for people on a spiritual path, because these relationships feel stifling.
I just wrapped up a one-day retreat with a couple and the beautiful part about both of them was their commitment to their own growth through the relationship. In this retreat they learned the tools needed to do their separate work so they could create a powerful, loving, conscious relationship.
I believe that this is what we all want but we don’t know how to achieve it. If your partner isn’t able to look at his or her patterns, a couples retreat would be a great place to start. At least after the couples retreat you will have the tools needed to go deeper into your own limiting beliefs so that you don’t project them on your partner.