I grew up having to care for myself because I had parents that were not emotionally available to care for them selves let alone me. I actually prided myself on being self-sufficient and strong. Because of my childhood it set me up to have a hard time asking for help, even when I desperately needed it. Unfortunately, we all need assistance sometimes.
I found myself three months ago in a situation of having to ask for help due to a health issue. I noticed the feelings of guilt that arose and an old belief of not being good enough or something was wrong with me. It gave me the opportunity to really explore the depth of my inability to be vulnerable and work through old beliefs and wounding.
I started noticing it in other people as well. My friend needed help and as she was reaching out, she was saying that it was okay if I couldn’t help. She really felt like she was imposing. Why is it so hard for us to rely on others?
It’s critical for us in times of need to be able to let go of our feeling that we should be able to do everything ourselves so that we can accept the help of others. Many times because we are so hell-bent on doing it ourselves we prolong our recovery. We also miss the opportunity to be able to practice humility and acceptance. One thing I have done in this last year with my health concerns is surrender, surrendering is a huge part of accepting a situation, so we can move into allowing help.
When we allow ourselves the experience of being fully vulnerable, this helps us realize we are one with the world and not out there, all on our own. It is tough to admit we have limitations, but as humans we do. Accepting these limitations, allows us to be human and to accept others for their humanness.
What a gift it is for others when we are vulnerable and what a gift for us to surrender and then to sink in to the gratitude.