Have you ever asked yourself: Do I truly love and accept who I am—mistakes and all?
Too often, we label our actions (and ourselves) as “good” or “bad.” This kind of black-and-white thinking comes from what some call the “lower mind”—the part of us that judges rather than understands. Yes, our choices shape our lives, and some lead us down paths we wouldn’t choose again. But even those missteps can become powerful lessons that contribute to our growth.
When a decision results in pain, regret, or discomfort, it doesn’t mean you’re bad—it means you’re human. What matters is what you do next. Rather than beat yourself up, try this instead:
Acknowledge the choice. Learn from it. Forgive yourself. Then move forward with new awareness.
Many of us were raised hearing, “Be a good girl” or “Don’t be bad.” Whether said directly or implied through disapproval, these early messages taught us to judge ourselves harshly. Even if your parents didn’t use those exact words, you may still have internalized the sense that something about you needed fixing. That constant pressure to be “better” can linger, shaping how you see yourself today.
Here’s the truth: You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to evolve.
The real opportunity lies in looking closely at the choices that didn’t serve you—and understanding why. When we simply label ourselves as good or bad, we shut down curiosity and compassion. But when we choose to explore what we really wanted, and how we might approach things differently next time, we grow.
So, the next time you feel self-judgment creeping in, pause. Ask yourself:
- What outcome was I hoping for?
- What need was I trying to meet?
- What can I do differently now—with love and self-respect?
Self-acceptance isn’t about letting yourself off the hook. It’s about learning without shame.
You’re not bad. You’re becoming.
If you’re struggling to find that self-love, or if you’re stuck in old patterns that keep repeating, you’re not alone. My retreats and one-on-one mentoring are designed to help you uncover what’s holding you back—whether it’s through an individual intensive, a couples retreat, pre-marital retreat or a mother-daughter experience. If you have a teen, check out my mother/teen daughter retreats! You’ll walk away with a clearer path, a lighter heart, and a deeper connection to yourself.
If you have a teen, or a friend with a teen, check out my other website EmpoweredTeensandParents.com. It is a great resource for handling the tough teenage years more consciously.
And I’m excited to announce… the release date for my latest book is 7/7/25! This book is for parents of teens, although any parent would benefit. It’s called: What If Your Teen Isn’t the Problem? A Guide to Conscious Parenting. More about that soon!
Adult Mother Daughter Retreat Testimonial
“I can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me and my daughter. Having a “young adult” child move to the other side of the country while trying to resolve issues is needless to say challenging. When I was looking for an adult mother-daughter retreat online, I came across your website. 
Our expectations were exceeded. I loved that your retreat was so personal. The “one on one” sessions truly helped me see that my daughter was an adult and on her own journey. We both felt so comfortable talking to you. You were non-judgemental and so intuitive. You gave us both tools to use in life, not only with each other but with anyone we have a relationship with. Especially our own “little girls. The beautiful setting of Sedona and the activities you planned for us were the icing on the cake. We resolved so many issues and re-bonded emotionally and spiritually. I can truthfully say that we are closer now than ever. We have a new found respect for each other. My daughter and I needed this so badly. I have tears in my eyes again while writing to you. (and I am not a cryer) We love you and thank you for everything. With gratitude,” – Jill, Mother
Love, Debra
