The word “uncertainty” tends to give us the “heebie-geebies.” We tend to avoid any situation where we are uncomfortable and feel uncertain about the outcome of things. It’s far easier to stay comfortable and to know exactly how our day is going to look, what we are going to eat for the rest of the day, that our meetings will go according to plan, that our children will respect our every word, and our partners will go out of their way to tell us they love us and clean the house. What a lovely predictable life!
Life, however, doesn’t have a routine geared toward comfort and certainty.
We never know what we may be handed at any moment. We could wake up to find that the dog pooped on the floor, the kids are sick, we just got laid off work, and our mom decided to spontaneously visit. A strong Buddhist teaching is getting comfortable with uncertainty which means opening ourselves up to any situation as an opportunity to learn, to allow our little girl/boy to grow. We tend to become restricted and closed off when something is suddenly not what we expected or not going our way.
Real personal strength is not avoiding or trying to fix the circumstances that arise, but rather opening yourself up to them with curiosity. Being willing to see and explore the things that seem to bring you discomfort is where you develop your power. Discomforts are actually life’s way of cleverly disguising opportunities for your growth. Lean into the situation rather than pulling back or reacting. Ask questions rather than pointing the finger. Everything is always shifting and changing in our lives. The more we try to maintain control, the more neurotic we become. If we allow ourselves the opportunity to check in with ourselves when we feel uncomfortable and ask, what’s really going on here, what beliefs am I holding onto that are making me feel so fearful and agitated, then our whole perspective can shift. We become hyper- aware of our own personal responsibility to empower ourselves.
Being uncomfortable starts to take on a whole new meaning in our lives. We start to celebrate uncertainty as we would a dear friend sharing a new perspective or a great teacher creating the space for transformation to take place. Our little girl or boy will slowly stop throwing tantrums or start crying when these situations come up. We will begin to relax and realize we are in one giant classroom called “our lives.” Nothing ever goes away until we have learned the lessons we are required to know.
