How healthy are your relationships? 
Unhealthy relationships are everywhere. Look at your relationships with your primary partner, in the workplace, on social media, with your family, and of course with your friends. Being in an unhealthy relationship can look different ways. Unhealthy can be abusive verbally or physically, being shut out, or if the other person doesn’t do their work and projects onto you, and neediness can also be unhealthy. There are many other ways that relationships can be unhealthy.
There are two ways of looking at unhealthy relationships, the first one is if you are in a primary partnership and you both trigger each other and just have work to do through those triggers, this could be a good thing. The other situation is when you are in a relationship with someone that isn’t doing their work and projecting their fears on to you and they aren’t going to look at themselves. Unfortunately this situation is difficult. You can choose to stay in the relationship and do your trigger work around it but if it feels abusive you may have to leave the relationship.
What if the abusive relationship is a family member? When I was 32 I decided to remove myself from my relationship with my father because he was an alcoholic and said he wouldn’t even leave an hour to get together without drinking. I have actually walked away from several relationships with friends that were acting out in an unhealthy way in our friendship. I tried to resolve the issues but their inability to see their behavior made it virtually impossible to stay in the relationship.
It is also important to look at your behavior in the relationship, are you too needy, are you codependent, are you shut down and unable to open up, or are you projecting your fears onto them. It’s important to know yourself really well so you can decipher if you are projecting or they are projecting. If you are not doing your spiritual work it will be pretty tough to tell if you are aiding in the relationship being unhealthy.
This is why my personal retreats are so important, because they teach you how to know yourself deeply. If you don’t know yourself deeply it will be tough for you to see your own behavior. You will think that it is always the other person’s fault.
If you truly want a relationship that has the capacity to go deep and do healing, you have to know yourself. In my personal retreats you will learn how to know your true authentic self, allowing you to be in healthy relationships.
