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by Debra | Apr 1, 2014
How do we stay out of the drama of life and take that drama and move into a place of higher conscious learning? First what is drama? Drama is conceived through getting wrapped up in a situation that happens instead of looking at why it is happening. Let’s say someone treats me with disrespect. If I lament about the situation and say things like, “I can’t believe she did that to me, she is such a nut job, what is wrong with her, she must be crazy,” or I keep the thoughts circling in my head, I am stuck in the drama of the situation. If I am stuck in the drama, I miss the higher learning.
The higher learning looks more like looking at what you have to learn from it, your wound around it and your old belief system attached to it. Maybe when you were younger your family didn’t respect your rights and therefore when it happens in your adult life, it triggers you. Then you proceed to do your work around healing that wound and not buying into the old belief system. This opportunity will be completely lost if you stay in the drama of the event.
Tips To Stay Out Of The Drama
1. Recognize your triggers. Anytime you are not at peace, you are triggered.
2. Step out of the trigger and connect it to your wound as a child.
3. Look at your old belief around the wound.
4. Don’t buy into the old belief, know it’s a lie.
5. Create a new belief and sink into it’s truth.
It is going to be impossible to create happiness and peace if you are not aware of your childhood wounds, your old beliefs, and how they make you react to certain situations. They key is getting to know yourself in a much deeper way. Look at how your life is showing up for you and you can get a good picture of how strong your old beliefs are. They only way to shift an old belief is to know where it came from and not to buy into it.
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by Debra | Feb 22, 2014
What does living a conscious life mean exactly?
It means not sleeping on the job! It mean being awake! Going through your day with awareness, not being on autopilot. The majority of people on this planet are sleep walking and don’t know it. They get up in the morning, drag themselves to the coffee machine, take a shower, go to work, work, come home, fix dinner, watch a little TV, go to bed exhausted. Get up a repeat the same mundane experience over and over.
I try to live my life as consciously as possible by staying awake to what is going on in my day. I get up in the morning and greet my day and either hike in nature or sit and at least get a 5 minute meditation in. When I hike I go to a certain point on the hike and say my gratitudes and intentions for the day. This really sets the tone for paying attention to how my day unfolds. Meditation does the same thing. It grounds me in walking through my day awake. When I get to my office, down the hall, I look at my day and see what it has in store for me and how I might be able to affect the people in my day positively. Now, sometimes during the day I find myself going on autopilot, it’s natural, although I try to wake myself as soon as possible.
Another thing that happens to get in my way of living consciously is all the stimulation the world has to offer. My phone, emails, internet, my mind, everyday daily activities. It’s important to bring ourselves back to the present and look at what is important to us. It’s a daily practice to look at how you want to live your life and take the action to do it.
A few questions to ask yourself would be:
1. Are you on Autopilot?
2. Are you doing what you love in your career?
3. Are you spending quality time with the ones you love?
4. Are you overweight and eating for comfort or out of habit?
5. Are you bored with your life?
6. Are you walking through your life not knowing what you want out of it?
7. Are you stuck in the drama of your life instead of the learning?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, it might be time to WAKE UP!
I heard a great story about a man who knocks on his son’s door. “Jamie,” he says, “wake up!” Jamie answers, ” I don’t want to get up, Papa.” The father shouts, “Get up, you have to go to school.” Jamie says “I don’t want to go to school.” “Why not?” ask the father. “Three reasons,” says Jamie. “First, because it’s so dull; second the kids tease me; and third, I hate school.” And the father says, “Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First because it’s your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster,” Wake up, wake up! You’ve grown up. Your to big to be asleep.
It’s time to wake up, your to old to be asleep. if you need help waking up, looking at your life and how it’s not working for you, let’s talk about how you can be more conscious and live your life with more passion and zest.
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by Debra | Jan 31, 2014
What do you see when you look at your life? What have you created in the outside world? By looking at the outside, you will know exactly what is going on, on the inside. If you believe the world is rude, harsh, and uncompromising, guess what? That is how it is going to show up for you.
If you have an old belief that no one shows up for you because your parents weren’t there for you, then it won’t be a coincidence that your primary partner and friends aren’t treating you like a priority.
What our world mirrors is due to our old belief system.
If your parents struggled financially or if you heard your father say you have to work hard for money, there will be a good possibility that you will be an adult with the belief system that money is hard to come by, and you have to work yourself to death to have a good life. The key is to have an understanding of your old belief system and then take the actions to change it. Just knowing the belief system isn’t good enough. If you don’t take the action to change it, it will never shift.
Let’s look at the belief that you have to work hard for money. If you want to shift that belief, you have to stop working 60-70 hours a week and incorporate some fun into your day and trust in the universe that everything is going to be okay. That doesn’t mean that you quit your job and start watching TV and hope for the best. It means you are reasonable and realize that working harder is only buying into your old belief system.
Work and enjoy it and then play and enjoy it. I see so many people working so hard they are too exhausted to have any fun. On your deathbed are you going to tell your family you wished you would have worked harder? I don’t think so. You would probably be really bummed that you didn’t spend more time having fun with family and friends.
If you think you won’t make enough money to support your family if you work less, your old belief is really strong! Look at this part of your life and reflect on how the old belief system is in play and then take it a step further and create a new belief system. Your new belief system might look like: I can work less and earn more or I can work 40 hours a week, have fun with my family and still be fine financially. Then the action that supports the new belief system has to be taken, which is simply working less, enjoying life more, and trusting in the universe!
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by Debra | Jan 12, 2014
When we are 20 years old, we think we are invincible. Our body looks good and strong. Even though our emotions are all over the place, we can stuff them so deep that we hardly even know that they are there. It’s a pattern we have followed since childhood.
This response may work for us until we are well into our 30s. And then things change. Around our late 30s, we start having a hard time keeping that stuff down. It affects us in our body, in our mind, but most of all, in our heart and soul.
And then the quest to wholeness begins. This is a journey that is more adventurous than climbing Mount Everest, swimming the English Channel or surfing the pipeline in Hawaii. It is the topper of all toppers; it is life changing. It is a journey that takes us through our physical body and mind into the depths of our deeply deprived soul.
The journey to wholeness involves healing our wounded child to reconnect to our soul and source. This connection allows our physical healing to begin and brings us back to joy and openness so we can love and laugh as a child once again.
When we are children and have upsets, we store them in our body and carry them with us into adulthood until we start the healing process. Situations in our adult life will show up to give us the opportunity to heal what we could not cope with as a child. It’s not a coincidence that we recreate situations that make us feel the same way we felt when we were young.
All of our experiences in life are opportunities to learn and connect more deeply with ourselves. The more we connect to ourselves, the more healing we do. When a situation makes us feel angry, sad, sick to our stomach, fearful or off center in any way, our body expresses this discomfort by a physical contraction. This is a signal for us to reconnect with ourselves.
Check it out the next time something happens that makes you feel upset. Notice the discomfort in your body. Breathe into the discomfort and explore the feelings that come up. See if you can recognize the similarities between what is happening now and what you felt in your past. Also notice your behavior around the situation; often it will be that of a child.
So, what do we do with those painful situations? We can do many things. Some people react. They yell, pout and maybe even throw a fit. I’m sure you have seen adults behave in this way, and you probably thought, “That person is acting like a child.” That is exactly what is happening. They have been thrown into their childhood wounds, and they are re-experiencing the chaos, confusion and upset they felt as a child.
Often, this is such an uncomfortable place to be, that some people stuff the emotion. They don’t do or say anything; they just keep it in and let it sit in their bodies where the unexpressed feeling often causes dis-ease.
A healthier choice is to move through our upsets.
Have you ever seen a mother and child when the child is pulling on the mother for attention? First the child just tugs. When the mother ignores the child, the child gets more insistent and vocal. When the mother still does not respond, the child gets louder. Finally, after being ignored completely, the child throws herself on the floor and has a tantrum. This is exactly how the little girl inside of us feels when we don’t address upsets or contractions in our life. At first they don’t feel so bad, but after being ignored for a while, they start to feel huge. Imagine those upset feelings sitting in your body for an extended period of time. OUCH!
So how can we tend to our little girl by moving through our upsets? First, we have to notice when we are upset and realize that it’s okay to have those feelings. They are a normal part of life. Next, we train ourselves to pay attention to any situation that makes us feel off center in any way. Then we acknowledge those feelings and reflect upon them. We might say, “Wow! That really made me mad when she did that to me.” Finally, we go on to ask, “Why did this interaction or situation bother me? How did it make me feel emotionally and physically?”
Healing begins when we give ourselves the room to explore our feelings, to see where they came from. We might ask, “Did I feel this way as a child?” Chances are we did. By taking the time to pay attention, we are telling that little girl inside of us that we hear her and we are here for her. We acknowledge how hard it must have been for her and let her know that she is safe. (Sometimes journaling can help with this step or carrying on an imaginary conversation.)
Our journey through life is meant to be fun and exciting. Every time we connect with the child within us, our little girl dances and sings and unites with us. This allows our soul to remain joyful and open to all of the love that surrounds us.
When we heal our childhood wounds, we become happier and healthier. So let the healing begin!
Staying Connected, Debra
How do we stay out of the drama of life and take that drama and move into a place of higher conscious learning? First what is drama? Drama is conceived through getting wrapped up in a situation that happens instead of looking at why it is happening. Let’s say someone treats me with disrespect. If I lament about the situation and say things like, “I can’t believe she did that to me, she is such a nut job, what is wrong with her, she must be crazy,” or I keep the thoughts circling in my head, I am stuck in the drama of the situation. If I am stuck in the drama, I miss the higher learning.
