I think we all would like to Avoid drama in our life, right?
Crying and smiling masks in hazy light.
What is drama? Drama is a conversation that simply goes nowhere. Both parties try really heard to make their point, as they feel as though they are right. When conversation escalates, thoughts and feelings can often lead to aggravation and frustration. We often lack mindfulness in these key moments because our triggers overpower us. When we refuse to look at our part in the issue we naturally blame others for our discomfort. The only way to stay out of drama is to do your own personal work. If you can look at why you are triggered without blaming others, then the drama stops dead in its tracks.
I will share a story about a client of mine who was feeling worthless, not good enough and insignificant. She took all this pain and projected it on her husband. “Why does he not love me enough?” When she blamed her husband, he defended his position because he didn’t want to feel like he did something wrong. As the drama progressed, I told her to sit down and do some trigger work. After settling down, she recognized that her feelings were actually inside of her and not directed at her husband. When they discussed the trigger together, she let go of projecting and blaming her husband for all the pain she experienced by feeling worthless. She needed to understand for herself before her husband could understand how she truly felt.
With drama the argument goes round and round in a power position of who is right. We engage in drama when we try to make people behave in a certain way with the hopes of us feeling better once they change. The drama starts right at the moment we go outside of ourselves.
So for all of you who have learned this trigger work from me in either a retreat or other settings, make sure to hold yourself accountable and continue the work so you don’t go back to old patterns of belief and projecting. For those of you who want to know more about this technique, I would love to share it with you. It will truly change your life.
This is why with every retreat whether it be an intensive individual retreat, couple’s retreat or a mother-daughter retreat, mentoring afterward may be a good way to solidify your learning. I do offer to aftercare sessions for all retreats.
Shifting old limiting beliefs through our little girl/ego is not easy. This takes practice and awareness. So if you are interested in preventing drama in your life, you may want to consider an individual retreat or mentoring.
