“She is so vain.”
“He is such an idiot.”
“My boss is completely out of touch with reality.”
Every time we put our attention to what is happening out there, we miss what is going on inside of ourselves. Slamming others is a great way to avoid our feelings. If we talk about or think about the other person’s actions, we will never look at how we feel so that we can get in touch with what is REALLY going on.
The only reason to slam others is to avoid feeling our feelings. Period!
Say your boss does something that triggers you. Then you go to a co-worker and talk about how he is such a moron and how if he would just stop acting that way you would really enjoy your job. Not only does this negative self-talk expand your lower- self ego but you also miss the learning of the trigger.
The truth is that people act inappropriately every minute of everyday. But we can choose to direct our attention to the actual situation or instead to the learning in the situation. Putting our attention on the actual situation only supports our old beliefs, ego, and lower self and consequently makes us suffer. Bringing the attention into our self creates new beliefs, heals old wounds, and helps us live a more peaceful life. Our choice!
When we get triggered, if we make the choice to go inwards and look at what is really going on with us, we get a completely different storyline. Instead of “our boss is a moron”, we might see that his actions tapped into a part of ourself that feels inadequate and stupid. We might feel less than, not good enough, maybe scared of losing our job, etc. Now we have something to work with! If we allow ourself to feel our feelings around the incident, we can work through our old belief and strengthen a new belief that we are good enough and that our boss’s actions had nothing to do with us.
Every trigger is an opportunity to go inward, look at our feelings, and see what old belief is attached to the feeling, and then not buy into it. When we do this, we begin to heal our childhood wounding, create new empowering beliefs, and live a more blissful life.
Are you ready to make the shift?
Blaming others is a natural behavior for most people. Holding yourself accountable and owning your feelings is a lot more difficult, but the rewards are huge! When we blame others, we remain powerless and victims. When we own our own feelings about situations, we can then and only then make good choices for ourself and become truly empowered.
