by Debra | Jan 20, 2020
How many good friends do you have and what do these friendships look like?
I know for me I have a lot of different types of friendships. Some of my friends are an active part of my daily lives and know what is going on with me, whether it be good or bad. Then I have other friends that I only get together with every few months and we catch up on what’s is going on with us.
I will say that the friends that I am sharing my daily life with are much deeper relationships. They are the friends that when I am going through something big, they are right there with me as I am for them. Oddly enough if something serious happens in my life I may even forget to tell the friends not in my daily life because they are on the outskirts of my life. This isn’t a bad, it’s just the way it is.
I remember a teacher telling me that normally we only have a few core people in our lives that we share really important issues with. Mainly the ones that process the same way we do or at least have an understanding about how we process. I personally only have 2 people that really know the depths of my inner soul. My other friends are close in a different way.
Do you have a hard time calling on your friends when you’re in need? I think it’s important to not dilute your process with telling all your friends about everything going on in your life. I first like to bring the issue to myself and see what is going on, then I take it to my inner core friendships with my growth through the process.
I know a couple of people that tell everyone about everything they are going through, even people that know them very well. Usually in the situation they are just venting, not processing. If you are processing an issue you are having, normally you may only need to share it with a couple of close friends. I also find that after I process it, I’m only sharing my growth around the situation, not the situation as much.
We have to be careful because the ego loves to talks about sticky situations over and over until nauseum. The ego has to blame others and make them out to be the bad guys. So be careful who you are sharing with and how you are sharing.
It’s important to cultivate a good friendship with yourself first, then others!
If you are looking for someone to process with and help you move through your issues, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Jan 13, 2020
Is it hard to develop self-esteem as an adult?
Most people think self-esteem issues only show up in teens. If self-esteem isn’t developed as a teen it will follow you into your adult years. I know many adults suffering with really low self-esteem matters.
Our relationship with our self is our primary relationship. No one else in the world knows exactly what we are going through and experiencing everything in our life, but us.
So, why is it that we are so hard on our self when we are going through tough times? Why can’t we have compassion for our self? The obvious answer is the inner critic/ego voice. This part of our self keeps us from developing a strong sense of self, by its constant criticism and lack of acceptance.
To combat this ego voice, we first have to be a ware of what it is saying and then let it know that it is not speaking the truth. Then we have to reinforce the good qualities in us daily. I teach how to get to know your ego/lower mind so it isn’t running your life in my mentoring course and retreats.
The second part of this equation that is so important is giving our self, constant positive feed back daily. If you had a child and wanted that child to feel good about them selves, what would you do?
Here are a few tips:
- Write 5 things you like about yourself daily.
- Look in the mirror every morning and say “You are amazing and I love you so much.”
- Every time you feel sad, upset, or angry, imagine you are holding our inner child and being with the feelings.
Feeling empowered makes us feel good about our selves. The key thing to do is to show up for your self everyday in a positive way. Keep the inner critic/ego at bay and let it know that you aren’t going to listen.
If you are interested in learning more about your self and how your ego is ruining your life, let’s talk!
If you are looking for someone to process with and help you move through your issues, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Jan 3, 2020
Do you want to clear obstacles so you can live a more passionate and purposeful life?
Looking back can you determine what impediments were holding you back? What areas in your life were you stuck and having problems? If you can identify the issues, then you will be able to see the obstacles and figure out what areas need to be healed to remove the blockages
A few ideas on being able to see your areas of obstacles is first to slow down, so you can see the triggers as they are happening, instead of days later. Your triggers will give you the insight into where you are blocked. If you are on autopilot and moving really fast, it will be impossible to catch the trigger and therefore see your obstructions.
If you can’t see them you will not be able to clear them and do your healing. Unhealed areas in you create the obstacles. So slowing down so you can see them is critical. Another point is to keep things simple. This process isn’t difficult on paper although it may be tough to practice.
I teach my Sedona Soul Retrieval Method in my mentoring program that is simple and effective and will help you overcome any obstacles in your way to creating happiness. One of the biggest tools with this method is surrendering to what life is. Simply realizing that life is showing up in an exact way that is perfect for your healing, if you can catch it.
I am offering a 4-Week One-on-One Mentoring Course that will help you identify the obstacles in your life that are keeping you stuck in old patterns and not allowing you to move forward.
People who sign up for this One-on-One Mentoring Course walk away with way more than they expected in life changing benefits.
- Feeling less attached
- Job shifts
- Less worry
- More confidence
- Setting better boundaries
- Increased energy
- Sleeping better
- More motivation
- Better health
- More passionate
I am keeping the price reasonable at $549.00 so that you won’t have any excuses for not doing it.
by Debra | Dec 30, 2019
The power of having expressive relationships!
How important is it to express our selves and be heard in our relationships? How many relationships do you have in your life where you feel the freedom to express yourself without judgments? I know in my life I feel so honored to have a handful of relationships where I know I can talk about the things that are important to me and have someone witness my words without judging or trying to fix me.
I reserve my most intimate self for those people in my life and I also know how rare they are. We all long to be heard, understood, accepted and loved and vulnerable communication allows this. It also helps to have friends that process in a similar way to you, so that when you do take your issues to them they don’t create drama out of them, they help you see things more clearly so you can process them. This way you can continue to grow instead of getting wrapped up in the projections of your issues.
If your friends are triggered by your experiences they will not be able to hold space for you and hear you. They will normally try to fix it because they are having difficulty sitting with their own trigger so they can’t really show up for you. This is why it is so important to hold your expressions for those processing through their own issues so they don’t project them on to you.
We may only have one or two people in our lives that are capable of holding space for us without letting their own stuff come in. But, quite frankly that’s all we need. If we take what we are processing out to too many people, it gets very deluded and will be more difficult for us to move through it. I usually sit with myself first and figure out what is going on and then I may run it by one of my friends that I know will get it. She may be able to have more insight or just be a witness to my process; both are extremely important!
If you are looking for someone to process with and help you move through your issues, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Dec 23, 2019
Are you looking for a powerful retreat?
Allowing ourselves the time to heal is always a powerful way process life situations and one of the greatest ways is through a personal retreat. Whether it is with your partner, you mother or daughter or simple by yourself, setting an intention to grow spirituality and heal is potent.
It is very important to choice a retreat that is perfect for you because while you’re in the healing process you don’t want to be creating any conflict. You have to sink into your intuition while interviewing your potential facilitator to see if you resonate with them.
For myself I realized a while back that group settings don’t work for me I enjoy a one-on-one experience. It allowed me to open up more and go deeper. This is one of the main reasons why I do one-on-one retreats and not group settings. I want to be able to have the person in the retreat be able to go as deep as possible. The depth of their retreat of course will also depend on what stage of development they are in.
It is so important to honor this stage and be patient with yourself and realize that everything is part of the process of healing. Just knowing that a retreat is an intense time where important soul-searching takes place. Most retreat experiences will push you to go deep inside of yourself, and sometimes this can feel uncomfortable, so if you’re looking for pure vacation, make sure you pick a rejuvenating retreat, not an intensive.
Once you have committed to a retreat that you resonate with its important to put your trust in the retreat process so you can make space for the necessary work you have to do, easier making it for your process to unfold. The transformations that my clients have had in their retreats have been very powerful.
If you are looking for a transformational retreat, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Dec 16, 2019
Creating the peace within us and creating a peaceful world.
The only way to truly have peace inside of us is to go within. The biggest question is how do we find inner peace when the outside world seems to be in a bit of chaos. Most people would agree that if the world were more peaceful place it would be easier for us to be at peace. The problem is we have no control over what’s going on outside of us. So if we don’t want to be ruled by what’s happening on the outside we have to learn how to bring peace within.
To be able to bring peace to the world each one of us has to do our part in bringing peace to ourselves. If we are not happy with ourselves we are probably not going to be happy with what’s going on outside of us. If we are in constant conflict inside of ourselves then this is what we will manifest in the world. If we are fighting with our friends and families, it will be hard to find peace in the world.
It is only through our struggles that we have the opportunity to move through these obstacles to the light. These obstacles show us where our deficiencies are that keep us from peace. So utilizing these experiences instead of resisting them will help us find the peace inside of us that we so desire. When we are able to transform our internal struggles to a more compassionate, kind place within, we will be able to have more compassion and kindness for others. This in itself creates a world of peace.
If each of us process our own inner work, thereby having more compassion and love for ourselves, we would go out into the world differently. The only way to peace and happiness is through transforming our own wounding and struggles.
If you are looking to create an inner sanctuary, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Dec 9, 2019
Do you make conscious decisions?
How do you make your decisions? Do you automatically assume it’s a good idea because a lot of other people are making the same choice? Just because others are doing something doesn’t mean it’s right for you. We have all made one or two decisions based on the populous and realized that it wasn’t a good idea for us.
There are always many options available. We just have to take the time to explore each and every one of them to see which one fits us. Not taking the time needed to make the right decision could be because of pressure from family, friends or society.
It is our responsibility to guide the course of our terrain and not drift along with the populous. It is tougher to go against the masses making our own path. If we want to be the creators of our lives, we have to make decisions that our heart wants and knows to be true. But to know what our hearts desires we have to relax, sink in and listen to want we want instead of what someone else is saying to do.
I think this is really tough for kids when they are growing up because the parent’s opinions are usually pretty forceful and the parents can have a way of presenting it that says it’s the truth. When we get older we will have to decipher what our truth is and start going against others beliefs.
Making conscious decisions can only come when we are in touch with who we are authentically. This is why doing your inner child work and growing up that inner child is critical, otherwise we will make our decisions from a place of the wounded child not from the adult. The more we know ourselves, the better able we are to make decisions that are right for us.
How well do you know yourself? Do you trust the decisions you are making?
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Nov 26, 2019
Happy Thanksgiving!
I am grateful for all. of you being in my life and for my life and lessons through this beautiful existence. Thank you for being on this amazing journey with me! The journey for me is all about working through our triggers so we can show up for others in a more loving way. If you are working with me or on my newsletter, you are doing the work on some level and I am grateful for you.
Be with your family this holiday season with loving arms, accepting them and having compassion for them if they don’t show up the way you want them to. Remember they might not be here tomorrow, so treat them like they are special, because they are! Enjoy this special day and bring love to your family.
by Debra | Nov 25, 2019
Having gratitude for just being alive!
Because we are often wrapped up in our day-to-day life of going to work, grocery shopping, taking care of our house and possibly taking care of kids, it is hard to sink into truly being thankful.
When we do bring ourselves back to what we are grateful for, we tend to count our blessings for our abundance in life, or our families. This is a great place to start but what about being grateful for just waking up in the morning and also all the experiences that might not be so pleasant that bring us closer to our higher self?
I love feeling gratitude for just waking up and having another 24 hours of life regardless of what is in store. I know that whatever the next 24 hours holds is all for my higher learning. It is really hard for most of us to access this level of awareness because we are caught up in the ups and downs of our own individual experiences. When these experiences are caught up in turmoil we tend to spin out and forget about why they are coming into our lives.
The beauty about life is that it does have ebbs and flow, expansion and contraction and gives and takes. So instead of getting our self twisted in a knot over the contractions and takes, we realize this is where our learning comes from. No one is exempt from life’s ups and downs that might have our possessions and the people we love taken away from us. Ironically, when people or things are taken away from us, this is when it awakens us to go deeper into our gratitude and we realize how lucky we are to be alive.
Why wait to be disturbed by the experiences of life to be truly grateful. I find it so useful to sink into what I’m thankful for throughout the day, starting with waking up.
Through my Individual Retreats, Mother Daughter Retreats, Couples Retreats and Mentoring programs you will understand the patterns in yourself that block love from flowing through you and to you.
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Nov 18, 2019
Are your relationships out of balance?
In all relationships including primary and friendships, we need to check to see if it is a give-and-take situation. In some relationships you will find that you are giving maybe a lot more than you are receiving. In some situations this is okay like when you are helping someone out that is sick or disabled or if one of your friends or your partner has an issue that needs to be given extra time in that moment. Although if you notice that a relationship is always one-sided it may be time to fade out of that relationship or address the issue in the relationship.
Obviously, it’s best if you are in relationships where sharing and giving and receiving support is equal. Again if in certain situations there is an exception where one person needs more this is okay. You may have a friend who always seems to need attention and support from you because her life seems to always have something dramatic going on. If this is the case it may feel like there’s no room in the relationship for you and you may need to do a bit of adjusting in that area.
There are a few things you can do in this situation, one is letting go of the friendship altogether, or you can have a conversation with your friend about needing her to handle her own emotional situations herself first and then bouncing things off of you, instead of bringing it to you first.
I feel like when we put ourselves in a position to handle other people’s emotional stuff we robbed them of the chance of figuring it out themselves and growing up. I did this with a friend where I told her that it felt like a lot to me to be handling my emotions and hers. What I preferred was for her to try working things out or to get a therapist. Then she could come to me after she had figured things out and let me know how things went. This may seem unsupportive to some people but actually it is very healthy to not enable people so that they can start taking care of their own emotional needs themselves.
Are you the one giving too much or taking too much?
Through my Individual Retreats, Mother Daughter Retreats, Couples Retreats and Mentoring programs you will understand the patterns in yourself that block love from flowing through you and to you.
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Nov 11, 2019
Why are we not being our true self?
Our true selves or our higher selves always exist; unfortunately they are hidden under our patterns and fears. Who are we, really? In our day-to-day life it appears that we might be the ego acting out. But is that who you truly are? If we were to live in our most authentic self we would not be in the ego mind at all. We are pure spiritual energy and light inhabiting this physical body.
From birth until around five years old we actually express our true self. We are so connected to source still. Then through the experiences we have in life we slip into our patterns. We learn that we need to act and talk a certain way to make sure that others love and approve of us. Then our behaviors become habitual patterns. Then we act out of these patterns for years and years and wonder why it is so hard to shift them.
It is only through our experiences in life with our primary partners, our parents, our friends and acquaintances that we have the opportunity to work on unwinding those patterns. The triggers we have are like a knock on the door to let us know that there is work to be done so that we can shift the patterns and live in our true self.
This is why I love facilitating mother-daughter retreats and couples retreats, because there is a huge opportunity to shift old beliefs and start living in a higher place of being through these relationships.
The biggest aha moments in my retreats are recognizing that triggers are a good thing for our growth not something we need to run from. Our goal is to live in our higher self more than our ego mind. It is through our relationships that we have the opportunity to heal our woundedness and shift the patterns and behave with love.
Are you ready to shift the patterns from your childhood that you have been living in for many years?
Through my Individual Retreats, Mother Daughter Retreats, Couples Retreats and Mentoring programs you will understand the patterns in yourself that block love from flowing through you and to you.
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
by Debra | Nov 4, 2019
Why do we fill the void inside us?
What do you do to fill that void inside of you when you are feeling totally disconnected from yourself?
In society we are actually encouraged to consume so that we don’t have to be in touch with their feelings. This could be the consumption of food or things. Do you ever consume chocolate, food, alcohol or caffeine to avoid possibly feeling tired or lonely? The same goes for shopping, exercising, gambling or blaming and arguing to avoid feeling sad or angry.
If we take the time to examine what’s going on deeper inside of us before reaching for the food or object that will medicate that feeling, we will get to know our self on a deeper level. All of these things that we consume only make us feel good for a brief moment and then we settled back into being sad or lonely.
These feelings that we’re having get us in touch with how disconnected we are from our true selves. When we stop the consumption and just allow ourselves to sink into the feelings, we connect with our true self. When we connect to that energy, we connect to source and who we are as spirit.
Once we decide to go inward instead of consume, we will be able to look at our behaviors from our higher self. We will be able to look at our patterns without the ego mind judging us and telling us to medicate to get away from them.
Boredom is a huge feeling that initiates eating, shopping or excessive Internet use. If we can learn how to deal with the boredom, that often goes deeper into our loneliness, we will be able to show up for ourselves in a different way. I find sitting with myself and telling myself that I’m right here to be with any feelings that I’m having, but me at peace. This isn’t about going outside myself to nurture, it’s about taking care of myself.
When we start showing up ourselves and being with ourselves through all of our feelings, this way of being will become second nature.
Through my Individual Retreats, Mother Daughter Retreats, Couples Retreats and Mentoring programs you will understand the patterns in yourself that block love from flowing through you and to you.
If you are looking for support around loving yourself and others, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
